I want to more than the lust that consumes me
I want to be more than a love I can never have
I want to be more than every single thing that weighs me
Can I be more than the call of my desires
Can I be more than a mere girl
Can I reach heights of glory and yet do I ascend only for me?
Why do I want to succeed of what use will riches be to me?
Will murmuring tongues finally stop and condemning fingers search else where
Will I find peace in the arms of a lover and rest in the life I dream?
But what if life is not all that it seems? Is the rumor true that love and money cannot satisfy?
What is it to me? Let me try it all and indulge but be careful not to lose my soul
And yet in pursuit it shall be lost and so my destiny becomes damnation and again come the snide remarks that nothing I do can ever last
Who am I proving to? Whose approval do I seek? I’m just a girl who day dreams and is essentially weak
I do not want to depend or stretch out my hand. I’d rather have life end
Who am I to talk so? Did I create life from the depths below?
I was made with a purpose a purpose forgotten which is linked with the resurrection
So, I rid me of the filth that clings I claw at it but it does not yield
Till a hand pulls me out, it hurts to be pulled so but that is what I need to save this rotting soul
Washed and dressed I am reminded of my reason
But daily I flirt with lust though it’s treason
Is mercy to be taken advantage of or cherished? My heart and body speak diff languages
I still come back today
I have nowhere else to go to anyway.
Beulah Supriya is an alumnus of ASU with a Master’s in Communication. She performed her poem “Companions hurt; companionship heals” at TEDxASUWest. She explores themes of faith, hope and love in her writings. Apart from writing, she enjoys baking, drinking coffee and reading. She is from Hyderabad, India and is currently a Communications Specialist based in Phoenix, Arizona.