Contemporary Literary Review India | Print ISSN 2250-3366 | Online ISSN 2394-6075 | Impact Factor 8.1458 | Vol. 10, No. 3: CLRI August 2023
Book Review of My Subconsciously Feminist Father by Yashika Singla
Nandini Bhatia
If Feminism was a colour, we would all be colour blind. It is, by nature, a fiddly matter; one that people trip over, trying to understand. It is both an aesthetic and a burden for the modern world we live in; a jigsaw puzzle with a missing piece if you may. The metaphors are endless, like its many (mis)interpretations. Enter Yashika Singla. Colour corrected glasses in hand, theories tucked under her arm, ready to clear the fog around Feminism — the word, its meaning, and its practice.
My Subconsciously Feminist Father is a memoir, a manifesto, and a razor-sharp commentary on what true progress means for a society, and how far behind we are, from it. Beginning with how a father "accidentally raised three feminists" to the kind of cultural shock one might face, stepping out of a home like that and with values like that, the book argues — and to a great extent, confirms — that we have achieved marginal progress in thought, and very little, in action. In 10 small chapters, Yashika Singla reconstructs 9 essential principles of Feminism — spanning from patriarchal flavoured name tags we carry to the often missing teamwork in personal lives and on professional fronts; from generalizations to exceptions; from career choices, skills and aptitude to success, in general — things that have no gender but are coloured left, right and centre in it. At the end of each chapter, comes the 9 commandments — what she calls unsolicited advice — to be followed by individuals and families. The slogan of “abolition of sexism and promotion of humanitarianism”, echoes as one continues reading.
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We part with a nuance and insight, and learn to see gender as a socio-political, psychological construct; with reasons why misandry and misogyny coexist; and with arguments for why reforms need to be more local and internal than global. The key takeaways confer that enabling role models at home are equally important for sons and daughters; that equality is as much about equal opportunities as it is about the agency of choosing between them; that inclusive societies may not be balanced societies; and that Feminism can be and is as liberating for men, as for women.
One might think that the purpose of this book is to expose a man's privilege and a woman's lack of it. While the book is undeniably an exposé of a kind, it moves beyond these bitter truths and does something remarkable — it establishes facts and wraps all emotion and judgment under its accuracy. In debating and confronting the irony of our times, the book unveils how we conform to and practice gender bias; how we hide behind and justify the convenience of one sex over the inconvenience of another — in silent and skewed ways.
The book quotes patrons like bell hooks, Caroline Criado Perez and Chimamanda Adichie as well as gives examples of strong, independent, change-making women from history. On the flip side, it also makes us understand that while historically, some women have been successful in varying fields, it is not to say that they have been immune to the social friction of gender norms. What it means is that they have fought their battles and come out winners and that we must not forget that few win in a race but many lose.
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Most importantly, the book breaks down every little thought into a bite sized portion and explains — and in doing so, gives a name, a shape and a form to — many things we face and experience in our daily lives but fail to understand or stand up for or against. Yashika Singla chooses to focus on examples from the daily life— such as the liberty to engage in recreational activities or the unavailability of public toilet facilities and how it means different things for men and women — over instances of violence and crime against women, so that readers identify, acknowledge and evaluate gender inequality fairly, effectively and above all, personally. At the beginning as well as at the end of one's reading, it is not surprising to feel at home with the book. Perhaps that is what the author aims at: to sensitise and familiarise its readers to gender inequality; to share the onus; and to lead the way, with small albeit significant changes. The book is fundamental for this reason, if not for any other.
Writing is a believer's job and Yashika Singla has believed — deeply, thoroughly — in the cause of Feminism. At the end of the day, as she says, it is a simple thing to do: “we all need to raise feminist families.” Societies shall follow.
Title: My Subconsciously Feminist Father
Author: Yashika Singla
Available: Amazon
| About the reviewer |
|---|
| Nandini Bhatia is a postgraduate in Psychology from Delhi University. She is an avid reader, who writes book reviews for publishers and writers. Her expertise as a reader and a writer lie in socio-political/historical issues as well as in literature themed in education, gender and culture. Her writing style focuses on uncovering the underlying subtext and context of a book. |
| About the author |
Yashika Singla writes about how she and her two siblings (a sister and brother) were accidentally raised as feminists by her very ignorant-in-the-matter father, simply because he believed in the concept of fairness and, together with her mother, made an honest attempt to raise their three children equally. |