Christopher Barnes

Moonstop™ Brings  You…

…the fix-all for unruly nights –

Zizz streets ahead

With our comfy Temazepam-bulge mattress.

    (He’s handsome in white pyjamas.)

 

Retreat home to a fashionably chemical bed.

    (Lights shines its triangle.)

 

Fade out on the yielding springiness

Of dreams too outmoded to vex.

 

‘Mistletoe Balm’ For Dazzling Solutions

Snow-bound knees-ups ruffling you?

Gregariousness too wearying?

    (’58 Chevrolet, gold.)

 

Smear these flu-relieving chapsticks,

Pull through.

    (Armload of India Pale Ale in bottles.)

 

Hoedown, munch, tipple,

Glitter under the stars.

 

Tipplesun™ Galore

Bracing, enlivening, for those

Dragging on cordiality.

    (Ice bucket, unmatching sandals.)

 

Our exceptional compound

In puke-thwarting lager

Bonds to the gut-lining.

    (Tinnie juggler, draughtsboard, crimplene.)

 

Refine sunstroked beach functions

That even overloads don’t blow.

 

For Those Who Indulged That Vital Spark

Rollover Corp™ furnishes the definitive satisfaction –

A coffin modelled from actual Havanas.

    (Smoke whorls into black tie.)

 

Extravagance immortal, perfectly organic,

Cane and leaf end to end.

    (Cacti prettifies a sandy tract.)

 

Any diehard inhaler’s worthy of this eulogy.

 

 All Set for Excellence

Tightgrip™ franchises

Champion that macho stir,

Bulling up early risers.

    (Safety helmet, washbasin vapour.)

 

Manipulate our testosterone-glazed razors,

Score an edge.

    (Rashers jiggling in pan.)

 

Blades that strengthen

At no time miss the whisker.

 

Christopher Barnes won a Northern Arts writers award in 1998.  In July 2001, he read at Waterstones bookshop to promote the anthology 'Titles Are Bitches'.  Christmas 2001, he debuted at Newcastle's famous Morden Tower doing a reading of my poems.  Each year, he reads for Proudwords lesbian and gay writing festival and partook in the workshops.  In 2005, he got published hi collection LOVEBITES by Chanticleer Press, Edinburgh.

Christopher has written poetry reviews for Poetry Scotland and Jacket Magazine and in August 2007, he made a film called 'A Blank Screen, 60 seconds, 1 shot' for Queerbeats Festival at The Star & Shadow Cinema Newcastle, reviewing a poem.

 


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